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  • Being ‘Too Nice’ To Women,
    Not Understanding Attraction,

    And Feeling That Frustration

    That Drives Us Guys Crazy…

    By David DeAngelo

     

    This time I’m going to “mix it up” a little…

    I get a lot of questions like the three that
    you’re about to read.

    A LOT of them.


    Have The Relationship You Want eBook
    In fact, I get so many HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS
    of them emailed to me that I’m beginning to
    realize that I need to write another newsletter
    about this particular topic… even though I’ve
    written about ten billion of them now.

    Read these emails… and nod your head if you’ve
    found yourself in a similar situation:

    ***QUESTION #1***

    Dave-

    I’ve been receiving your newsletters and although
    I’m a little skeptical, I thought I’d ask you a
    question. I live in Las Vegas where I attend UNLV
    (I’m in a fraternity), play in a kick-ass rock
    band, AND work as a bouncer in a nightclub on the
    Strip. Now, given my situation, one would think
    that I’m just ROLLING in women, yet the only game
    I get is from older chicks and gay dudes. And
    when I do go out with hotties, I can’t get them
    to call me back; girls my age just aren’t
    attracted to me like they used to be. I’m smart,
    funny, I make decent cash, drive a nice car and
    all my “friend-girls” constantly tell me how
    hot I am. What the hell am I doing wrong?

    Sincerely,

    A.P.

    ***QUESTION #2***

    I recently had surgery and during that time a
    female “surgical consultant” gave me guidelines
    of what the surgery would be like and how to
    prepare for it. In a nutshell, she was really
    hot. The problem is we have talked on the phone
    about the surgery and the results and finances
    with insurance. The problem is that it’s only
    been on a professional level. She is fairly
    friendly, she doesn’t avoid my calls, and she
    doesn’t try to get off the phone quickly.

    So I had her business card and I recently wrote
    her an email , to her WORK email address, on
    Friday and said thanks for all the help and
    asked her out for coffee and she emailed me back
    right away and said that “I am too nice” and
    totally avoided answering the “coffee” date. So
    I emailed her back that same Friday and said
    that “you totally avoided the coffee question.”
    Today’s Monday and she since hasn’t replied to
    my email about going out for coffee. I feel like
    writing her back instead of waiting for her
    reply. Is this a sign that she is not interested
    in me? What do I do? How do I get her to at
    least go out for coffee with me. If she does go
    out for coffee with me, how do I keep her
    interested in me? You are my last resort for
    advice. If your advice works, then I am
    definitely going to buy your programs. Please
    help!

    A.S.

    Los Angeles

    ***QUESTION #3***

    I am recently divorced and am 32 years old.
    Haven’t dated since I was 21. So I have just
    kind of thrown myself back out there. A friend
    of mine told me about you and this newsletter
    so I started reading it and am fascinated by
    your advice. I have always been the nice guy-
    ready with an honest compliment and holding the
    door etc. Its not an act – its just how I am.

    But I seem to be sensing a problem with this…

    With my friends and gal pals I get the “you’re
    too nice” comment all the time. I am still
    trying to figure out how you can be too nice.
    How can you be too much of a gentleman? Is
    this truly something that can kind of trip you
    up dating these days, if you are like me?

    Thanks

    DK – Denver, Colorado

    >>>MY COMMENTS:

    It’s interesting for me to read questions like
    these.

    The FIRST thing that pops into my mind when I
    see a question like this one is:

    “He doesn’t get it.”

    That’s it.

    He doesn’t get it.

    Now, I guess it’s probably obvious that a guy
    who writes me “doesn’t get” SOMETHING.

    If he did, he wouldn’t write in for help.

    I know, I know. I’m a logical genius.

    Shut up.

    But stay with me here…

    The three guys who wrote in above all have
    VERY different situations.

    But I really believe that they all have the
    same basic PROBLEM.

    They’re running up against totally different
    challenges, but I believe that if they all
    understood a few keys about women and
    ATTRACTION, everything would change for EACH
    of them.

    So let’s talk about those key things.

    Here are a few of my key ideas:

    1) ATTRACTION Isn’t A Choice.

    2) Women don’t feel ATTRACTION for “nice”
    guys who kiss up to them.

    3) If you don’t GET how ATTRACTION works, then
    it almost doesn’t matter WHAT you do. Nothing
    will work.

    4) If you DO get how ATTRACTION works, then
    you can do almost ANYTHING, and it will work
    for you.

    Let’s take ’em one at a time…

    ATTRACTION ISN’T A CHOICE

    Women don’t “choose” to feel ATTRACTION.

    BANG! It just happens.

    And let me ask you something.

    Do you think that the mechanism that causes
    women to feel ATTRACTION… the one that
    has evolved over millions of years… before
    language, before MTV, before you learned how
    to kiss women’s asses… is LOGICAL?

    ere’s a hint:

    No.

    The bottom line is that if you interact with
    a woman long enough that she forms an
    “impression” of you, and she doesn’t “feel
    it” for you, then you’re done.

    It’s over.

    And no amount of chasing her around, buying
    her things, and being “nice” is going to do
    the trick.

    It’s NOT a CHOICE, man!

    WOMEN DON’T FEEL ATTRACTION FOR
    “NICE” GUYS WHO KISS UP TO THEM

    Remember the guy above who asked the question
    “How can you be too nice?”.

    Answer:

    You already know… DUH.

    Now I’m going to ask YOU a question…

    WHY are you BEING nice in the FIRST place?

    Right, right.

    It’s because you WANT something.

    “Oh, no”, you argue…

    “It’s because I’m a NICE GUY.”

    Or maybe you think that you were born this
    way… to be “nice”.

    Or maybe you’ve even convinced yourself that
    it’s the “right” thing to do.

    Well, it’s really pretty funny that the
    answer is staring you right in the face.

    You keep proving to yourself over and over
    and OVER again that NICE DOESN’T WORK.

    By the way, I love it when guys write in
    to me and say “I don’t want to use the things
    you teach because I don’t like the idea of
    MANIPULATING women”.

    Then I ask “Do you buy women dinner, or take
    them out?”.

    Of course, the answer is always “Yes”.

    I ask “Why?”.

    But I already know the answer…

    IT’S TO MANIPULATE WOMEN.

    Yep. And then the same guy says “Yea, but
    THAT’S DIFFERENT”.

    OK, before I get too far off track here,
    let’s just summarize and say that it is
    EASY to be ““too nice”.

    And it REALLY screws up your chances with
    women when you are.

    Women are NEVER attracted to WUSSIES.

    “Overly nice” equals “Wussy”.

    Remember that.

    IF YOU DON’T “GET” HOW ATTRACTION
    WORKS, THEN IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT
    YOU DO. NOTHING WILL WORK.

    Think about the concept of ATTRACTION
    for a moment.

    What is it?

    Is it important?

    Is it the same for men and women?

    Do you KNOW how it works for women?

    Have you ever taken the time to LEARN
    how it works for women?

    Have you ever CARED how it works for women?

    Are you guilty of spending more time thinking
    about what you’re going to leave on your
    outgoing voicemail message than thinking
    about this topic?

    Well, let’s get something straight…

    MOST men, and I’m talking about 95% of them,
    have NO IDEA how or why women feel that
    amazing emotion called ATTRACTION for some
    men.

    And if they DO have an idea, it’s usually
    DEAD WRONG.

    All most guys know is that women don’t feel
    ATTRACTION for THEM.

    It’s obvious that our three poster children
    above haven’t a clue about how and why women
    feel ATTRACTION.

    Read their emails again right now.

    You’ll get what I’m talking about.

    Notice something about these emails.

    Notice that they all seem to be focusing on
    what they’re DOING, rather than what they
    KNOW.

    “I’m in a rock band and I’m a bouncer at a
    hot club… but that doesn’t work…”

    “I sent her an email, but that didn’t
    work…”

    “I’m a nice guy, but that doesn’t work…”

    Can you see it?

    THEY DON’T GET IT.

    If they did, their emails would be totally
    different.

    IF YOU DO GET HOW ATTRACTION WORKS
    THEN ALMOST ANYTHING WILL WORK…

    Here’s the interesting part of all of this.

    If you will take the time to LEARN how and
    why women feel that interesting and magical
    emotional response called ATTRACTION for
    some rare men, and not for ALL THE OTHER
    men running around, then EVERYTHING changes.

    Here are a few interesting points…

    There are a few physical cues, or specific
    types of “body language” that instantly
    tell a woman whether or not you’re a guy
    that is even worth a SECOND GLANCE…

    If you don’t know what these things are,
    and how to use them, then the game will be
    over before it has even started.

    Scary.

    Women test men CONSTANTLY.

    And ATTRACTIVE women test men MUCH MORE
    INTENSELY than “regular” women.

    If you don’t know how to spot these tests
    (and most of them are very subtle), and
    then deal with them, you’re going to lose
    your chance to create ATTRACTION before you
    even GET it.

    Being “nice” isn’t the way.

    If you want to chase a woman around for six
    months, buy her tons of gifts, take her on
    a bunch of expensive dates, and HOPE for a
    chance to have her as your girlfriend, then
    keep doing what you’ve always done.

    This is the PRIMARY way that men approach
    the topic of “women and dating”.

    I’d say that, on average, if you’re REALLY
    REALLY NICE, and you buy her lots of
    extra-nice stuff, and take a woman on at
    least 20 dates over a 3-month time period,
    that you’ll have about a 10% chance of her
    “falling for you”.

    That’s just a guess.

    But it’s probably pretty accurate.

    On the OTHER hand, if you want to be the
    kind of guy that has women FLIRTING with
    you within MINUTES of talking to them,
    then you’re going to need to do something
    else ENTIRELY.

    And if you want to be the kind of guy that
    actually has so many options, so many dates,
    and so many women interested in him that
    you just can’t take all their calls, then
    you’re going to need a COMPLETE OVERHALL
    in your thinking, behavior, and perspective.

    Yes, it can be done, but “nice” isn’t the
    way to do it.

    Here’s the irony:

    Women DON’T WANT WUSSIES!

    No no no!

    Women are looking for MEN.

    You know, a MAN?

    I have a theory…

    I think so many women are turning into
    lesbians because even WOMEN have more balls
    these days than most men.

    You probably think I’m joking…

    OK, so what should us guys do to:

    1) Stop being “too nice”…

    2) Learn how ATTRACTION works for women…

    3) Meet and date more women successfully…

    NOW THOSE are some GREAT questions!

    Step 1 is to OPEN YOUR MIND to a new way of
    seeing things.

    I watched guy who were REALLY successful with
    women for a LONG TIME… with my OWN TWO
    EYES… before I started to actually SEE
    what was going on.

    And at first it just plain didn’t make sense
    AT ALL.

    But once I began to understand it, everything
    came together in a “blinding flash of the
    obvious”.

    Next, you need to realize that “nice” and
    ATTRACTION are two different things.

    And they’re NOT related.

    Finally, you need to GET AN EDUCATION about
    this topic.

    It amazes me that a man will go to college,
    spend a hundred grand OR MORE, and feel
    satisfied walking out of that educational
    experience STILL not having learned how to
    be successful with women.

    Amazing.

    It amazes me EVEN MORE that guys don’t make
    the decision to actually LEARN this stuff.

    Blows my mind.

    Now, I’ve spent OVER five years working on this
    particular topic.

    It took me a good 2+ years just to BEGIN to
    get a handle on what was going on.

    It took me another year or so, AFTER I started
    to understand, to actually get GOOD.

    After all that, I spent quite a bit of time
    writing notes to myself, discussing the
    techniques that I’ve learned and created, and
    putting it all together.

    What’s the result?

    Well, now I have several great programs that
    I’ve designed to help teach guys how to meet
    and date women successfully.

    And my stuff doesn’t just focus on “what” to
    do. It ALSO focuses on THE WHY, and the WHEN,
    and the HOW.

    In my eBook, “Double Your Dating”, I spend
    several dozen pages on this topic of
    ATTRACTION… how it developed, how it works,
    and how to understand it.

    I get TONS of email from guys who say “Wow,
    this really opened my eyes and gave me a
    totally new perspective… and THAT is the
    thing that has made the difference”.

    Of course, I also teach DOZENS of amazing
    techniques for everything from approaching
    women to getting numbers to taking things to
    a “physical” level.

    The eBook is a complete education. Check
    it out here:

    When you follow that link, you’ll also be able
    to sign up for my FREE Dating Tips Newsletter…
    which is packed with even more great secrets.

    I recommend that you take advantage of these
    resources.

    I’ve put a lot of time, effort, and energy into
    them, and this is the first time in HISTORY that
    something quite like this has been available.

    Go check them out.

    I’ll talk to you again soon.

    Your Friend,

    David D.


    David DeAngelo is the author of “Double Your Dating – What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women”, and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.



    Copyright 2010 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. “David DeAngelo” and “Double Your Dating” are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.


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